Thursday, May 1, 2014

Attraction Factor 15: Tolerate Nothing

When you put up with something, it costs you in time, money, resources and brain time. Costs are not attractive. If you consider that you have about 240 work days a year, tolerating something for just 10-minutes per workday equals a whole week per year.

We tolerate things for very good reasons. As you grew up you were told not to be so selfish; to cope, accept, be patient, wait your turn, be understanding, look on the bright side, work it out, compromise, make do, etc. Unfortunately, most of us learned these skills to our own detriment and we put up with too much. Isn’t it time to learn how to stop tolerating the things that no longer work and things that are not good for you?

You might have a good reason for tolerating things in your life. Examine those reasons how come you put up with old technology, bad relationships, a job that doesn’t really feed your soul and things that hold you down. Start changing the simple ones where you have total control and little or no risk, like cleaning out your desk drawer.

Consider the risks in making changes that are outside your total control. How will you tell your supervisor to stop disrespecting you in this or that way? How will you get your family to stop interrupting when you speak? How will you communicate your new boundaries and how you will respond when someone crosses those boundaries? Will you risk losing a job, friend or family when you make the changes you need to make?

In making a list of everything you tolerate, start with the favorite room in your home and expand to your whole house, yard, work, friends, family, etc. See which things you can change without risk, and strategize which others are worth the risk to change. As you stop tolerating the little things, you are practicing up for eliminating the bigger things.

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