Sunday, June 1, 2014

Attraction Factor 16: Show Others How to Please You

Do you ever hope that other people will treat you like you want to be treated? Have you ever thought about teaching them how to please you so that they don’t have to guess? Have you ever wished that someone would just tell you so YOU wouldn’t have to guess wrong?

Here is a great list of 7 things that can really impact your relationships and help people treat you like you want to be treated. I know some of these can be very sensitive for some people, so think about how these can be important to you, or maybe how a relationship suffered because you didn’t realize their importance to someone else.

1. Train people how to listen to you. How do you need to be heard in terms of your words, feelings and feedback? Do you want them just to listen, or do you want an action-response? How will you feel that you've been heard?

2. Show people how to physically touch you. People like various personal distance from others while some don’t like to be touched at all. Some prefer big hugs while some prefer a handshake. Let people know.

3. Teach people how to show they care. Would you like a letter, call, visit, gift, surprise? How will they know for sure if you don’t teach them? Kindness unwanted is not kindness.

4. Show people how to respond to you. What to say or do. How to say or do it. What tone of voice to use. How to get your permission for the proper way to respond to you and not overstep?

5. Tell people what you need from them before it becomes a problem. Do you need more time, less time? More respect, sensitivity, acceptance? Less criticism, pickiness, negativity?

6. Inform people how to reach you in a way that help you to say yes. Do you need to know features, benefits, function, value, quality, long-tern analysis and details?

7. Tell people the shift or fundamental change in attitude you want or need from them. From negative to positive. From closed to open. From unwilling to willing. From fixated to free. From righteous to humble. From acquiring to gratitude. From seeking to enjoying.

There is always the question of: What if they don’t treat me like I ask them to treat me? Sometimes it might just be time to move along. One thing is for sure, if you’re not getting what you want, and if you don’t ask, then the answer is automatically, “No.”

1 comment:

Greensboro Life Coach said...

Awesome post! We all have some difficulty with expressing how we need help or how we want people to interact with us. Our American culture is one of strict independence so these are great tips for having much better relationships.