Wednesday, December 22, 2010

What Is Your Default Life Like?

It can be very easy to default into habits that severely limit you and your success in life. Some habits help you survive and thrive for a time, but then become limiting or destructive to your purpose and progress, whereas some habits become unproductive from the start. For examples, addictions to drugs, food, exercise and adrenaline or narcotizing activities such as television and gaming can take time away from your purpose and you go into default mode.
Your own brain can ambush your efforts. It is making new neural connections at a rate of about a million new connections per second, and unless you intentionally decide what you are going to be, do or have, your brain makes all these connections by default.
This leads me to ask two questions, first, what is your default lifestyle? Do you awaken at the same time every weekday, have the same routine, do the job, have about a dozen meals you cook all the time, and when you think about what you’d rather do you can’t think of anything except that you don’t want to keep doing what you are doing. Your brain has wired itself into a comfort zone so solidly that you can’t think yourself out of it.
Second, do you ever find it hard to think beyond what you already know or to change what you already do? It can even feel painful to try to think outside the neural box your brain has stuffed you into. This is like the gym membership you don’t use, or the great thing you might start and not fully finish.
Is this what you want?
Self-leadership Tip: I want for you to change one habit that is holding you back. If you are a gossiper, become a complimenter; if you waste 20 minutes on a break, cut it to 10; if you arrive late, come early and bring a book—create one positive change for your life. What will you do to change one of your default settings into a self-directed positive? Just do it.

Monday, December 20, 2010

Your Next Step on Your Ladder of Success

You get a “leg up” your ladder of success in life from somebody. It could be your customers, family, teachers, pastors, employers, friends or any kind of support you create that might include advisers such as accountants, investment advisers, lawyers, doctors, dentists and experts.
It is easy to blur the distinctions between the experts who assist in your life success. Towards creating a simple way to understand the differences, I like to use the analogy of a ladder.
The Consultant. A consultant will study your situation, your needs and your goals, and search the world of ladders to find the right ladder for you, and maybe even bring you the ladder. They ask, will this ladder increase your profits? Will it save you time? Will it solve your problem and meet your challenge?
The Trainer. A trainer will show you how best to operate that particular ladder. They answer, what are the features? How do you set it so it does not wobble or collapse? How does this ladder adapt to your purpose and support you in reaching your goals?
The Mentor. A mentor will share from their own experience about climbing a ladder similar to yours and help you climb yours in a similar way. They ask, what challenges do you face and how have I faced them? Is there a better way to climb it now? What has happened to others on this ladder?
The Therapist. A therapist will help you with Psychological challenges, like understanding why you’re afraid to climb your own ladder. They ask, is it something from your childhood? Was it your parents? How are you sabotaging yourself? Can you step on the first rung?
The Coach. A coach will set his/her own ladder next to yours and climb along beside of you as long as you find it helpful. The coach wants for you to climb the ladder that you really want to climb and do it more effectively. They ask, is your heart really into climbing this ladder? Do you like the color, feel and stability? Is it leaning against the right wall? Who will you be and what do you do after you climb it as high as you can?
Each of these professions can assist in leading yourself to being who you truly are. Though there can be overlap, each profession has a focus. Which focus is a fit for your needs and wants?
Self-leadership Tip: “A person who can not ask for help is poverty-stricken indeed” —Fred Smith, ( What kind of help might you need that you are not asking for? Ask for it.

Friday, December 17, 2010

This Is About You

This is about you and achieving your success on your own terms and in your own way. Let me say something odd: Just like the Cheshire Cat saying, “If you don’t know where you’re going, any road will get you there,” if you don’t know who you are, then you could become someone you’re not.
This is about finding and affirming who you are and taking at least a measure of control to do this. Do you have dreams and visions of what you want to do and be? Do you have opportunities that pass to other people? Is there something significant you want to do in your life?
Something significant, according to you, can be anything from getting an extra hour of sleep to being present at a kid’s play or ball game to creating an organization to end world hunger. What is significant to you? What would it be like if you took one step towards your significance? Would you take a safe step, like writing a code word on a piece of paper that only YOU know? Would it be a risky step that would either deepen or lose a relationship for you?
Your journey to significance on your own terms begins with taking the next step. Oftentimes we need to figure out what that step will be—and how to take it. Your family, your fiends, your boss and people in your life all have a bias for what you should do. We can need someone outside our immediate circle who’s bias is solely for our success.
That’s why I am a business and personal coach; my bias is for your success on your own terms. This is about you, your purpose, your calling, your destiny, finding your path and building your bridge to where you want and need to be. This is about you leading yourself in the areas of life that matter to you. More later.
Self-leadership Tip: Just identifying areas of your life where things really matter can get you started and cause you to make better decisions on significance. What areas, things and people really matter to you? Make notes.