Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Journey to the Life You Want

I remember waking up one day and thinking, “I really hate my job.” It was a good job that thousands of people would want, but I was drying up on the vine.
Simply put, either you have the life your want, or you don't. 
If you don’t, what is something you can do every day to take a step towards your best life? For me, the answer was to start getting clear on what I wanted, and to start looking for it. One small thing I do is most everyday I take a few minutes to review my priorities and my task list, and another thing I do is to affirm my own five main requirements:
1- Help other people
2- Make a good living
3- Set my own schedule
4- Be a good father and husband
5- Do this in the context of my faith in Christ Jesus
You have requirements too. Have you ever written them down? Have you taken some positive steps towards fulfilling your own requirements?
On the other hand, If you already have the life you want, I’d truly love to hear about it. What does your life look like and how does it bless your soul?

Saturday, April 23, 2011

People Passion for Your Purpose?

People can be passionate about the same thing for different reasons. For example, one person can be passionate about banking because they can help people succeed with their business, another can be passionate about banking because they can make a lot of money. One will take higher risk in order to help people, the other will not take the same risks for concern of losing money. In some cases, the driving force behind their passions will not be compatible.

I believe it is best to start with someone who already is passionate about what you are passionate about, and together see if your passions can drive you to accomplish the same results for compatible reasons. --Otherwise you could end up in a war of passions where people do the right thing for the wrong reasons, or do the wrong thing for the right reasons.

Passion without purpose is misguided.
Passion without competency is ineffective.
Passion without integrity is manipulative.
Passion without boundaries is destructive.
Passion without unity is chaos.
Passion without action is wasted.

It is best to begin united in doing the right passionate things for the right passionate reasons.

You can explain, plead, compel and reason, and perhaps you will help others find a passion for something that is already there, even if it is a passion against what you want to do.

But if there is no passion in their hearts for your cause, how can you stir up something that is not there?

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Where did all the money go?

Where did all the money go? In all the hardships we have endured in the past two years of what is being called the worst depression since the great depression of the 1930's, what happened to all the money?

Where did all the money go?
Did it just disappear, or did it go into somebody's pocket?
Who do you think would know?
Is it sitting in a stash, or in accounts where they could sock it?
--Whoever has it, sure is keeping quiet.

Where is all the money now?
It's not in my small business, and are my taxes due?
What will my government allow?
If I cannot pay them, then is my business through?
--And the government have to pay my employees with more money it does not have.

Where must all that money be?
Who got us into this, and what is their lame defense?
Did they care anything for you or me?
Or were they greedy in the fullest sense?
--Somebody made out like a legal bandit, but legal does not make it right.

Where does the money need to go?
To those who carelessly spend, and will spend more than before?
Are they not reaping what they sow?
They spent it all, why do they demand more?
--In the end, the thrifty and frugal worker ants save the foolhardy grasshoppers, again.

Where will the money give benefit?
Can the poor invest, or spend it all and still have need?
Will the rich give jobs, or simply get?
Who will save us, will we take heed?
--We have trusted until we trust no more.

Where will the money finally fail?
Some things have no price, without a price how are they bought?
Where will you find your life for sale?
Where in eternity will you be caught?
--We have come to think it is the money that saves us by buying us what we want and need. It’s not the money.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

How We Humans Get Ambushed By Our Words

Have you ever thought you communicated something so very carefully and clearly, only to find that if there was a way to be misunderstood, somebody would misunderstand you?

A long time ago, a fellow named Alfred Korzybski questioned how come engineers can communicate so accurately about technical things, yet the general population misunderstand each other so often? The answer lies in how words get their meaning. For example, if I say, "I do this because I love you," and then punish you for being disobedient, then you would associate the word love with punishment.

Understand that words have meaning only as we associate a particular word with an object, action or event. The problem is that your experiences with a word are unique to yourself, and are at least a little different from mine. This is why we miscommunicate such as when we agree to meet at the coffee shop downtown and I got to the one on Elm Street and you go to the one on Main. We communicated a message that we both understood, and assuming we are both sane people, the result was an un-sane action.

Korzybski also noted many ways that the very nature of our language can ambush us. He identified errors in language such as:

= Sameness - the assumption that all objects in the same category are the same. "If you've seen one horse (or kid, executive, drug addict, car, etc.), you've seen 'em all."

= Allness - the assumption that once you know about something, you know all you need to know. For example with the damaged nuclear power plants in Japan, the designers assumed they knew all they needed to know to make the plants safe in an emergency, yet a tsunami damaged the plants and created an unforseen emergency that will take decades to fix (if fixing is even possible).

= Permanence - the assumption that things will not change. We base our lives on the false fact that there will always be jobs, clean air and water and enough to eat.

= Abstraction - a way to answer without giving a specific answer. For example, ask a politician what he/she will do about the downturn in the economy that has hurt so many people, and you can get a more general (and abstract) answer like, "We are taking immediate actions designed to enhance economic recovery." This usually means that the average citizen can't understand what the politicians are doing, so trust them...

To improve how we communicate, we still need to define our terms to each other and be as specific as possible. After all, putting the peanut butter on the bread does not mean to set the whole jar on the bread.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Finding Your Happiness Place in Career and Life

It can be a struggle to find your happy place —the meaningful and  joyous place in life where you feel like you fit and thrive. One of my coaching clients called me to say he found his happy place, and it took me a few moments to realize the depth of this simple statement. I realized that so many of us are not in our happy place.

Simply put, either you have the life your want, or you don't.

If you have the life you want, great! Do you want to tweak it to a higher level of perfection?
If you don't have the life you want, what would your best life look like?

It had taken this client about two years to find his happy place. We had coached together three times during this two years, and each time we coached he gained further clarity of who he was and what he wanted versus what he did not want.

Before this, he had a good job, but the job did not support his longings and dreams. In our relationship, he discovered what he needed, and he understood why his job would never meet those needs. He wanted something better for himself and his family, and he wanted it bad enough to strategize, prepare and go find it. And he found it.

What a joyous thing to find your happy place.

Are you in your happy place with the life you want? Do you have a vision for what your happy place looks like, or at least a vision of how your current place is not it?

What step, small or large, will you strategize and take towards your happy place?

Hope to see you there!