Friday, November 29, 2013

How to Find Yourself

I love this paradoxical saying:
      I've gone out to find myself. Should I get back before I return, please keep me here.—Mike Curtiz

This begs the question of just how do you realize you’ve lost yourself, and then how do you go find yourself? Frankly, as a life coach I don’t believe you ever lose or find yourself in the first place. To lose yourself means that (a) you finally had a conscious realization that decisions you made in your life have led you to a place of dissatisfaction and un-fulfillment, and (b) you need to make some changes but you’re not sure what all to change.

To find yourself means that you probably went out and tried a lot of different things until you discovered something that deep down felt really right to you. It means that you rebuilt yourself into somebody you truly like.

I once was a highly successful Senior Graphic Designer, creating ads, brochures, and presentations for ad agencies and corporations. One day I woke up and said, “I really hate this job.” I had “what” I thought I wanted, and I had it “how” I thought I wanted it, but the what and how was not building me into a “who” that I enjoyed being. I changed jobs four times in the path to becoming a life coach.

Building myself into a successful life coach required a journey of being bluntly honest and gentle with myself. I knew I needed to make changes, and changes take courage and energy. For myself, I knew I had to move from a highly technical production environment into something that made a difference in people’s lives. I started building myself away from technical production into people development.

Now about you,
What and How are you becoming Who?
Have you found your Self feeling sad and blue?
Will you embrace the adventure to build your Self new?
Or do you add another year you will or won’t undo?
Look into your life and see if there’s a clue,
Take a step, another step, till you know Who.

"Finding yourself" is coming to the realization that at last you have built yourself into someone you really like rather than someone you should have liked.
—Life Coach Mack Arrington

I’ve gone out to re-build myself, if I come back with some pieces missing, I’m still under construction.

Attraction Factor 10: Underpromise and Overdeliver

How about all those deadlines, promises and commitments that cause you stress and failure in your life? Does it feel like you don’t have enough time and energy to do everything, and things keep falling through the cracks and getting lost? Do you feel like if you join one more thing or take on one more project you will just die? Maybe it’s time to UNDERpromise—so you can OVERdeliver?

Life is a series of negotiations. Every time you meet someone, friend, family member, clerk at a store checkout, or any person anywhere, you negotiate or re-negotiate that relationship. Sometimes you negotiate that relationship to stay the same, such as when you get to be the customer and the other person gets to be the cashier. Sometimes you negotiate to change the relationship, such as when you agree with your supervisor to start a new project. Sometimes you negotiate the beginning or end of a relationship, such as when you start or resign your job.

Last week my wife negotiated with me to return something to the store for her on Monday, but my Monday got busy and I didn’t return it until Tuesday. Even though it did not matter that I returned the item on Tuesday, I disappointed my wife and was out of integrity with myself. I overpromised and underdelivered. Oftentimes we negotiate ourselves into overpromising more than we can deliver instead of underpromising something more do-able.

Yes, I am aware that sometimes you don’t feel like you have a choice, but usually this means that the choices you see will not make everyone happy—especially yourself. You negotiate all the time with people about what you will do together, where you will meet, what movie you will see, what you want for dinner, and more. Why not negotiate some extra margins for your life in what you promise to do, when and how? Then you have a choice to overdeliver and make someone really happy about it; might that someone be you?

One bit of coaching wisdom: If “no” is not an option, then “yes” is not a choice.

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Universities Bankrupt by 2020?

If you take a look at this video: EPIC 2020, ( ) you will see an astounding proposition, a prophecy of sorts, that predicts a radical shift in education by year 2020. This shift could mean the demise of most universities brought on simply by the demand for developing and employing talented people faster and more effectively than a 4-year degree program can produce—and the education of 2020 will be FREE, financed by businesses who already pay huge fees for the "head hunters" to find the talent they need.

For the students caught in the transition and saddled with massive education loan debt, will they riot in the streets because the debt-free upstarts are taking all the good jobs? How will the universities compete and what will they offer to "stay in business" and pay for their expansive buildings that will stand empty? How will the professors find work once their primary courses are offered online for FREE? How will some parents feel when their 15-year old child gets an offer of employment for more money than the parents make? How will others deal with their children having no job or good prospects? Will Apple and Google really emerge as the global players in this war for talent?

Your comments? 

Attraction Factor 9: Get a Fulfilling Life, Not Just an Impressive Lifestyle.

A great life is attractive, but an impressive lifestyle is usually seductive.

Sometimes I am amazed by how few options people feel that they have, or how they've rarely considered how they might life their life differently. Identify what about your life isn't really you at all.

If you're living paycheck to paycheck to support your lifestyle, your lifestyle is too expensive. You're trapped in it; you must keep working in the job you have in order to afford your lifestyle. If you're living wonderfully, yet close to the edge, you can't really afford to progress in some very important ways, and you probably won't be as attractive.

We tend to buy-in to the advertising that indicates success: the house, car, trophy spouse, etc.  Most people haven't really chosen their lives. I fell into a career path that led me to be a Senior Graphic Designer before I woke up one day and realized I hated my job. I began a search and found coaching as a choice. See that you have choices too, identify what is natural and healthy for you, even if not normal for others. Stop trying to find fulfillment in objects. Stop acquiring so much stuff. Find what has meaning to you.

Identify who gives you life, and who are merely players in your lifestyle. Identify who adds joy and energy to your life vs who merely supports, entertains or assists you.

Why don’t you take a look around and find someone who has a life you find attractive? Offer to treat them to lunch or something, and ask about how they chose the life they have, what’s important to them, what they want to do or change in the future. See their joys and sadness, learn what you can, and start making your own life fulfilling.

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Attraction Factor 8: Become Irresistibly Attractive to Yourself

I coach a lot of people who start out feeling unattractive whether they are unattractive or not. This usually is very frustrating and gets in the way of your goals and flow in life. I believe inside everybody there is a good kid who wants to come out and play, to love and be loved.

Remember this: you can’t see yourself as others see you. Your coach sees you like nobody else sees you. A good coach is usually pretty good at spotting your personal attraction factors.

Feeling that you are attractive to yourself, without being cocky and prideful about it, is attractive. I mean, do you really want to hang out with people who are always down on themselves? If you don't feel attracted to yourself, others will have a harder time feeling attracted to you.

Sometimes, to start/spark the Attraction process, you'll choose to do something that makes you feel incredibly good—maybe joyful—about yourself, even if it makes no sense to others. Sometimes you choose to take care of yourself in a special way—ice cream sundaes and swimming do this for me. What do you find attractive for you, yourself, to do? How do you love yourself in ways that really matter?

[We look] for happiness in possession of the external - in money, a good time, somebody to lean on, and so on. We are impatient, hurried and fretful because we do not find happiness where we look for it. -John Dewey

Look for attraction factors in who you are, in who you set yourself to become, not in things or other people. I note a difference between being happy with yourself vs being done with evolving yourself. Keep evolving.

And if you’re ever coming by my way, how about we meet for ice cream or something?

Saturday, August 31, 2013

Attraction Factor 7: Market Your Talents Shamelessly

  • If you really put a small value upon yourself, rest assured that the world will not raise your price. —Anonymous
  • If you think you're too small to have an impact, try going to bed with a mosquito in the room. —Anita Koddick

How can shameless marketing of yourself be at all related to Attraction? Good question! There is a huge difference between bragging, arrogance and selling vs having confidence in who you are and the value you add to others. Attraction is not a passive process as some might assume.

It is very much an active process — planting seeds, adding value, telling (vs selling), responding and yes, even marketing yourself. I can’t tell you how often I have mentioned to my business friends some of the things I do, and they say, “Gee, I didn’t know you did that, and I just bought that from someone else.” I discovered that being enthusiastic and polite while telling someone what I do—makes a world of difference.
I am an executive and life coach, and I help people stop ambushing their own success and get on their fast track to making their dreams come true. I also do personality testing for job recruiting and personal insights that help you define and reach success on your own terms.
In this previous short paragraph, I shamelessly told you
  • What I do in a simple, direct manner
  • How I help people in ways that many people need
  • The value I bring with focus and support to make dreams come true

I admit that it takes some practice to say this without sounding haughty or “in your face.” After a while you become fearless in having a normal conversation about what you do, and you become interested in what others do too—you ask them the shameless questions like, “What do you like best about what you do? What do your customers like most about what you do? If you could change one thing that would make the most difference to you, what would it be?”

What would you say shamelessly about yourself to communicate your talents and how you bring value to your work and to the people you encounter?

Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Abolish Taxes and the National Debt to Eliminate Budget Cuts?

I am reading about the history of money in the USA. Did you know there was a time when no citizens paid taxes? The USA created its own money, debt-free, to pay its bills and the government itself acted like a bank. It made loans to the people, and the interest on those loans was enough to operate the government, so there was no need for taxes.

Why do we pay taxes? It's because we, the people, have accepted debt and taxing as part of our lives. Find the words “Federal Reserve Note” on all your printed money; this note is a loan that must be paid back, plus interest, to the banks that own our currency debt. Our money itself is debt-based, not debt-free, and it's borrowed into existence through the central banking system.

Why do we have budget cuts? It's because the debt-based money we created required $359,796,008,919.49 in 2012—just to pay the interest on the debt-based money we created. We are trading the land of the free for the home of debt-slavery.

Just think about this. What would it be like to go back to creating debt-free money and abolish all our taxes?

Attraction Factor 6: Affect Others Profoundly

You are going to affect others around you anyway, why not affect them profoundly? The more you touch others in a positive and significant way, the more attractive you will become—but how to do this?

It is amazing that many people comment about my deep questions when I ask what they want to achieve or do to make life count for them. To me, this is a normal question you’d ask someone you care about. How can I help you do what is really important to you?

We affect each other when we are real, helpful and responsive to each other. It’s about calling forth the greatness, wisdom and experience of each other. It’s about noticing and acknowledging the effort, struggle, failure and success in each other’s life. It’s about speaking the truth you see in ways that are respectful and constructive. It’s about connecting your head and your heart together because no matter what your head says, when you lose heart, you lose.

I don’t believe anyone gets enough appreciation these days. How about affecting people who don’t get much appreciation? About every week for over 15 years, I make a lunch run to the same Taco Bell, and Hannah has always been there with an infectious laugh that spreads the joy all around. I have gotten to know the whole lunch crew there, and at the end of my burrito, I make it a point to go back to the counter and thank them. Sometimes I kid about how fat I’m getting or whether Tonya or Justin makes the best burrito. It has a profound affect on me too.

When have you noticed a salesperson who was particularly helpful in a store? How about the chef at the restaurant or the cook at the burger joint? The school teacher or professor? The dental hygienist? A family member? Have you made it a point to tell them how they make a difference for you, and thank them?

What are some ways you can profoundly affect others as you go about your day?

Monday, July 1, 2013

Boston Tea Party Today: Patriots or Scalawags?

      The original Boston Tea Party was in 1773 when 342 chests of tea (about a million dollars worth today) were thrown from cargo ships into Boston Harbor by a group of men dressed as Indians. What if we had the Boston Tea Party today? Whether they were patriots or scalawags, their damage was done to protest unfair government.

      What trouble would they get into today? The tea was taxable, so this could be a Federal offense. The tea was privately owned, so it would hurt the farmers, the processors, the wholesalers, retailers—the whole supply chain. Non-union labor unloaded the ship. Boston harbor became a gigantic environmental tea spill. They stole, vandalized, trespassed, impersonated Indians. Who knows what other laws they would be breaking today? On top of this, what a moral offense to waste so much good tea! Somehow, nobody got hurt and a crowd cheered them on by some accounts.

      Can you imagine what the government officials thought of the tea party? Scalawags, vandals, outlaws all. Yet we celebrate them today as patriots who stood against the tyranny of unfair taxes and laws. I can see that conditions are ripe for patriots and scalawags to have another party. What will they substitute for the tea? What will we call the party?

Attraction Factor 5: Add Value Just for the Joy of It

Blessed are those who can give without remembering and take without forgetting.
—Elizabeth Bibesco 

    Adding value in your relationships is attractive—the challenge is to discover what is valued in each of your relationships and then add more of that. In business, you add value for your customers by giving something extra like good service, good pricing or some good cookies. In personal, you add value by finding out what the other person values and building this into your relationship. The very act of asking other people about what they value is an attractive thing to do (just don’t argue with them about what they value).

    The aspect of the practice of adding value which will make you most attractive is the joy that you experience in doing so, not the quantity or quality of the value you are adding. Big difference.

    For example, I love playing banjo, singing a variety of tunes and telling jokes with my bluegrass band. The audience always gets something extra in our music, our jokes or the relationship we share on stage.

    Often, the best value to others is the byproduct of what you do for your own joy.

Monday, June 3, 2013

Democracy Is Voting Capitalism Out of Business

Capitalism plays to the people who want to make money and who will take a risk to do it. It's been said that the difference between rich and poor: The poor use money as a means to buy comfort, security and entertainment. The rich use money to buy education and as a tool to create wealth.

IMHO, capitalism works with people who want to be rewarded for pushing the edge of creating wealth (such as by creating products and services, or creating companies to deliver products and services). Capitalism does not work well for those who want someone else to take care of them.

It's been said that there are three ways to control people: force, religion and debt. Our government has evolved such that all are in debt to our government through taxation. We have become debt-slaves.

The USA does not own its own money system. All our money is borrowed into existence and must be paid back with interest as part of the national debt. In the USA, we borrow our own money to pay for our own debt that we created by borrowing our own money (does this sound kind of stupid?). I called the US Treasury Department, and they verified that paying down our national debt actually destroys the money supply we need to run the economy.

I would say that today, it's not so much that capitalism is failing as it is that democracy is voting capitalism out of business. There are many variations on the quote, "A democracy can only exist until the voters discover that they can vote themselves money from the public treasury." As more people vote for the government to take care of them, the government has to raise and expand taxes. ( The banking system has not allowed our government to print its own money since it phased out Abraham Lincoln's debt-free "greenbacks" ). Higher taxes rob businesses of the money they need to stay in business and create jobs.

It's been said that the people who vote for a living now outnumber the people who work for a living. Some quote the US Census as saying 49.1% of the US population lives in a household where at least one member is receiving government benefits.

I find capitalism to be inspiring, competitive and valiant. When the true capitalist wins against all odds, he is able to enjoy the profits of his own labor and contribute to the support and jobs for the rest of us. When he loses, he understands that either he will have to rise back up by his own efforts, or get trampled underfoot because there is nobody to rescue him. Unfortunately, it looks like true capitalists are an endangered species.

Thursday, May 30, 2013

Amazing Healing from Degenerating Back Condition

I know this will sound crazy, but the man is now three inches taller, and his no-longer-aching back is in fine shape. His doctor said, "What did you do? Whatever it is, keep doing it."

Mark Pegram had a variety of very serious chronic diseases and back pain. As a Professional Engineer, he is used to digging into problems, dealing with lots of details, and figuring out how to solve complicated challenges. After two unsatisfactory back surgeries, he felt that there must be a better way.  By study, trial and error, he developed a regimen that restored his health, kept him well, and eliminated the pain and brain fog that clouded his ability to think.

While in his 50’s, some of the problems he recovered from include:
·       Degenerative disc disease so severe that he had shrunk over an inch in height (and now gained three inches of height)
·       Suffered pain for more two decades from the nerves in his back being pinched
·       Sleep apnea that threatened to end his life within 18 months
·       High blood pressure

—Mark has gone to his doctors and they have verified his recovery.

Mark's wife is the Director of a large hospital lab, and he has other relatives in the pharmaceutical industry. They have watched his recovery as he spent thousands of hours and dollars to discover what would work and what would not. They have stories.

I am starting to develop a seminar with Mark so others will have the chance to benefit from his experience. I have had back pain and problems for decades and am giving Mark's process a personal tryout, I want to avoid surgery myself if possible. Will let you know how well it works. Let me know if you'd be interested in the seminar. Mark's info-rich blog is:

Attraction Factor 4: Build a Super Reserve in Every Area

You never know what is enough, until you know what is more than enough. –William Blake

You know what it’s like to run out of something you need. Not enough time, money, love, friends, battery power and on and on. What do you run out of? How would you feel to know that you have more than enough reserves to handle it?

How attractive is it to run out of what you need, or not to have what you need in the first place? Not very attractive.

I once agreed to help a friend with his display at a business expo. I arrived with a tool box and a fresh roll of duct tape, and within an hour I became the most attractive person in the meeting hall. “Yes, you can use my duct tape, but don’t make me have to come looking for you to get it back. No, I don’t loan my tools out, but if you need something, I bring my toolbox and you tell me what you need done.” I had massive and generous reserves of what everybody needed that day, and it paid off!

When you have more reserves than you need, you have less fear. You become more of a saver and less of a spender. You steer away from situations and people that drain you. You more often find yourself “at choice” instead of “at crisis.” Start thinking of how you can identify and create reserves for your life.

Actions to consider:
Pick a single area in which you can develop a huge reserve in within a week. Once you've done that, double that amount of the reserve. Why? Because simply having 'more than enough' is not a real reserve.

Identify and remove what is draining a reserve you already have. Building a reserve is one part adding/acquiring and it's one part reducing the loss/plugging the holes.

Get your Personal Needs met. Unmet Personal Needs are like holes in your cup. No matter how much you pour in the cup (reserve), it eventually leaks out. Plug the holes and your reserve will develop faster.

Handle the money.
Handle the money either by increasing your income, decreasing your expenses or both. It takes courage. Simplify. The resulting Reserve is worth it.

Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Why Do You Need to Be Rich?

There are only three ways to get rich honestly: inheritance, live within your means and invest wisely. Understand that you have choices, and some of your choices create debt, others create wealth. I recently read of a Elinor Sauerwein, who everyone thought was poor. She made different choices.

She was taught by her mother to never waste a thing. She hung her laundry on a clothesline in the backyard. She painted her home when it needed it, and mowed her lawn until her early 90s. She refused to go to restaurants, movies or pay for cable TV. She wanted to support the Salvation Army after researching which agencies spend the most on their clients. Needless to say, it was a shock when a check for $1,731,533.91 from her estate  was presented to a California branch of the Salvation Army.

She lived well within her means by her own choices. She had a financial adviser who invested her money wisely. By most standards she was rich. She chose not to have things that many of us see as necessities of life today, but are all of our necessities really necessary?

Industrialist Andrew Carnegie was asked, "How much money is enough?" He replied, "Just a little more." If you have to choose, do you prefer to save and invest your money and become rich, or do you choose to spend all your money and live in debt-slavery all your life? Or is there another choice you choose?

Attraction Factor 3: Overrespond

Note that this says overrespond and not overreact. By overresponding instead of overreacting, you evolve yourself, which is very attractive. Reactions tend to be impulsive actions that follow a surprise and are not well-thought out or implemented. A response tends to be thought-out and even practiced. How do you react to a good, or a bad, surprise? How often does your reaction get you what you really want? What kind of response can you plan and practice that will allow you to evolve yourself into a better person with a better response?

One great example of responding is how my best buddy from college, Carney, would respond to an argument. I would bring up a subject and express my opinion. Carney and I would engage in dialog up to the point where I would press to win the argument. Then he would respond with a smile and say, "Maybe so." This allowed us to continue and strengthen our relationship on friendly terms and give each other the space to grow, rather than dig into a position that could sacrifice our friendship. (Thanks Carney!)

But overresponding goes beyond the normal response by seeing every event as a creative opportunity to learn and grow. Many of us suffer from having a two-valued orientation: we see two choices and it’s either this or that. There are more than two choices, so look for them. In the old days, a Roman soldier could force a civilian to carry his equipment for one mile. The normal reaction was to cooperate and carry the load, or refuse and face the consequences. We see that Christ Jesus recommended the overresponse: "And if anyone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles." (Matthew 5:41)
Change and improve yourself with the extra choices you find or create. Overresponding takes you past just fixing something. You take care of things sooner rather than later, the same problems don’t keep coming back because you head them off and fix them permanently. Overresponding goes beyond the "Maybe so."

Maybe So, Plus
There is risk involved because you are learning to look for additional options and to respond in new ways. Some people will not know what to do with you. With practice, you might surprise yourself with how you handle familiar situations in new ways and realize how much you have been missing. Go the extra mile; overrespond and see the world in different ways.

Saturday, April 20, 2013

Paying the National Debt Destroys Your Money

Most people don't know that the US has a debt-based money system: it "borrows" all its money into existence—at interest that must be paid back. This is included in the National Debt. The Catch 22: paying down the debt actually destroys the supply of money we need to operate the economy; increasing the debt will eventually cause us to default and this will do global damage. We lose either way.

Many believe that our debt-based money system is not sustainable for today's world. The solution finds precedent with Abraham Lincoln who created debt-free money called "greenbacks" which he used for paying the Civil War debt, but then greenbacks were phased out. Also, our early government was its own bank; it printed its own money, loaned it to the colonists, and the interest was enough to run the government—so nobody had taxes to pay (wow).

From my study, I currently believe the solution is to create a sustainable debt-free currency system. Otherwise we will remain slaves to our debt. Your thoughts?

Thursday, March 28, 2013

The Peek Over the Pail

Ok, I don't have all the details of the research, but it was a Psychological experiment. A rat was put in a pail of water and timed to see how long it would tread water before it gave up. They found that the average rat would give up in about 30 minutes unless it got a peek over the edge of the pail. At the point where the rat was about to give up, the researcher would reach down and pick the rat up just high enough to see over the pail, and lower it back into the pail. Wow, there was really dry land out there. With this fresh perspective, the rat would renew its motivation and keep treading water. With a peek over the pail, the average rat would tread water for 36 hours.

This indicates the importance of having a vision for your life and your work, and taking time to refresh your perspective. Are you treading water in your life? If you were to get a peek over the pail, what would you see that refreshes and encourages you to keep going? Better yet, how do you get out of the pail and live life with some gusto for today instead of being driven by some kind of dry land hope in the future?

What do you think?

Attraction Factor 2: Unhook Yourself from the Future

Being alive and present to the present is attractive. This is not to say to stop planning for the future, but rather, plan for the future while you live for today. I don’t want you to wake up one day and find your life has passed you by.

Your life is lived in the present moment, not a future time when you might eventually find your success, discover your purpose, hit your stride or make your fortune and are too old to enjoy it. We tend to live for a time when or if (Fill in the Blank).

The supreme value is not the future but the present… Whoever builds a house for future happiness builds a prison for the present. —Octavio Paz

When you're not living for tomorrow, life tends to change. You look for and find today's opportunities; you'll start seeing them! You stop wasting time on people and projects that have potential but no real prospect for you. You won't be nearly as seduced by advertising or get-rich-quick schemes that try to hook you to an unrealistic future.

One other thing. If you life is flowing well for today, you can set and drive yourself to goals that take you out of that flow. Being overly driven to hit your goals can become very unattractive as well as you missing the opportunities that present themselves today.

Questions for unhooking yourself:
How will you set goals for the future, yet live for today?
What are some clues that people might be hooked on the future? (Like having a sharp focus on the when or if)

Friday, March 1, 2013

Mystery of the Month: The Collapse Came Suddenly

The collapse of the American dollar came suddenly. It was worse than when the mortgage bubble burst back in 2008. Once again, many banks failed and within a few days the whole economy crashed. Millions of people lost jobs, homes and whole businesses just disappeared. Looking back at the warning signs in the economy, nobody seriously thought the problem would be with the money system itself.

Most people thought that the government just printed more money when it was necessary, but this was not the case. The system that brought on the crash was unbelievable. It operated like this. When you buy a Treasury bond, you "create" money. When you cash-in the bond, you cancel out the money but the interest debt remains. Theoretically, if all bonds were cashed-in, all our money would disappear, but the interest debt on the bonds would remain to be paid—and no money would exist to pay it.

All of our money was debt money, and the debt kept going up while the value of our money kept going down. It reached the point where the interest debt alone was increasing faster than they could create enough debt-money to cover the debt. It made your head hurt to try to understand it, and then one day, everything just stopped.

When the price of a gallon of gas and a loaf of bread hit $15.00 there was rioting in the streets. The government called out the military, and it was like Bosnia in the '90's. Things got ugly. Looting and marauding began. Vigilante groups formed to deal justice to politicians and financial services people like bankers and stock brokers. If you didn't have enough family or neighbors working together to defend your property, things would not go well for you. Everybody bartered because the money wasn't worth anything. Supplies ran short, and there were no government services able to help.

When the new world order took over, the hunger games began.

Many of you know I am a Neighborhood Watch coordinator and I keep getting info on how un-prepared people are for extended emergencies. My inspiration for this troubling scenario came from two sources. One was a description of what happens when a society breaks down, such as in the aftermath of hurricane Katrina ( The other source was a short video on how money gets created (

The Federal Reserve system began 100 years ago in 1913; our population has grown over 300% since then. We are trying to survive 100 years of expanded population and business with a default-prone, 100-year old, debt-based money system. Note that Presidents Lincoln and Kennedy were moving towards “debt-free” money before they were assassinated. President Lincoln had created and circulated debt-free money called "greenbacks," but these were eventually phased out. 

President Obama calls the sequestration threat a manufactured crisis. Congress manufactured the threats of sequestration and also the debt-based money system. They can eliminate both threats, right?

Attraction Factor 1

I know this will sound odd, but for this attraction factor you have to become wonderfully self-interested, but not terribly self-centered. It's like on an airplane when the oxygen masks drop down, and they tell you to "put on your own oxygen mask first, then help your neighbor." By putting on your own oxygen mask, you are protecting your own self-interest, and then you can be overwhelmingly generous in helping your neighbor.

Being terribly self-centered is unattractive. Self-centered people keep taking what you cannot afford to give. Their lives are run by their needs, but they never seem to get their needs met. They tend to take all the oxygen masks for themselves and, because they do not know what they truly need, they never get enough of your time, money, energy, attention, and anything else that anyone will give them.

On the one hand, if you are being self-centered, stop it. It makes you look bad and it does not attract the kind of attention you truly want. On the other hand, if someone in your life is being self-centered and taking all your oxygen, how will you become self-interested enough to start taking back what you need for yourself? If you must make changes, proceed with caution because self-centeredness can be a challenge to overcome.

Being wonderfully self-interested is attractive. You stop being needy because you become aware of what you deeply need, and then go about meeting your needs in positive and attractive ways. You ask for what you need and make it ok when someone says, "No, I can't give that to you." You find or create ways to get what you want, and you respect the oxygen supply of others. You start making changes in the things that you, yourself, can control. You build a reserve of whatever you need so you can take care of yourself and be overwhelmingly generous to others when it really counts.

What would it feel like to have someone—who chooses—to be overwhelmingly generous with you? Teddy Burriss is choosing to be overwhelmingly generous with me. Check out who he is at Teddy has his own oxygen mask on, and he's helping me breathe with my own.

Attraction Factor: Become wonderfully self-interested, and then choose to be overwhelmingly generous when it really counts. Remember to breathe.

Saturday, January 26, 2013

Mystery of the Month: Look Up in the Sky!

Why do the planes keep coming back? Again and again.

When they started years ago, nobody thought anything about it. A plane would fly over and the long white condensation trail would stream out behind and disappear a couple of minutes later. These white trails were water vapor, and they called them contrails for short. But then things changed. The planes came more frequently. They made patterns across the sky. Some days you could count a dozen contrails across the sky, but these contrails did not disappear, they persisted, sometimes for hours.

Then the reports started coming. People complaining about their health. Scientists finding unexplainable chemicals in the atmosphere above and the soil below. Crops failing where they used to grow abundantly. The planes could be seen in the skies all over the world, along with the exclamations of "Conspiracy theory!" Instead of contrails, they started calling them chemtrails. It's up to you to decide what's real and what's not, and the fate of the world could hang on your decision.

When you google the word chemtrails, you get results that would make for a great science fiction movie—the images you google raise questions too. Are chemtrails real or crazy, a global conspiracy for climate control or simply persistent condensation trails? And why do the planes keep coming back again, and again? What do you think?

Introduction to Attraction

Are you happy with what you already attract into your life?
    At one extreme are the folks who have nothing but the best of luck. They attract the perfect job, the perfect spouse, have great kids and solid friends. They attract successful financial options, and their problems bring them opportunities. They start every day with a liberal dose of problem repellent (Whew!) Note that they still have problems, but the problems are handily handled.

    At the other extreme, have you noticed how some people are always having problems? They can simply walk down the sidewalk, and the piano falls on their heads. It’s like they carry a problem magnet wherever they go. Sometimes the problem is not really their problem and they take it anyway. How much more do they cause their own problems without even being aware of doing so?

    Most of us live between these extremes in our daily journey. When we have a bit of good fortune, it’s like the saying that, “Even a blind squirrel finds a nut now and then!”

    Of all the principles of attraction, you only need to develop a few to change what you attract. How do you attract more of the good stuff into your life? How do you become a teflon-coated, problem-free zone where problems get handled and don’t stick?

    Start by noticing what you already attract. You already attract something. How much of a problem magnet are you? How much problem repellent do you use?

To stop:
  • Politely stop picking up troublesome extra problems that drain you and are not really yours to solve. Don’t you have your own share already? The more problems you pick up, the more you tend to attract.
  • Stop over-committing. Learn to say, “No, thank-you.”
  • Sometimes the best reason not to do something is that you don’t want to do it.

To start: Questions to be asking yourself:
  • What do you want to attract into your life? Start noticing, make notes.
  • If you don’t know what you want to attract, how do you find out?
  • As you think of these things, can you add them to a written list?

Discern where you actually have some control. In situations where you don’t have any control do you get involved and waste your efforts?