Monday, January 30, 2017

Everybody Needs a Coach: Introducing Mack Arrington, PCC

If you’re looking for a coach, you’d probably like to know a bit about me and how we would work together. I’ve worked hard to become board-certified by the International Coach Federation (ICF) as a Professional Certified Coach (PCC) and have been an Executive and Life Coach since 2001.

I’ve helped my clients:
• Follow their dreams
• Improve their leadership
• Find their perfect job
• Win awards
• Go into business—or—out of business
• Improve sales
• Hire the right people
• Save their marriages or go through a divorce
• Deepen their faith
• Save their careers
• Set goals and reach them
• Get organized and be more efficient and effective
• Improve relationships

How do we work together?
I have coached people all across the USA and Canada mostly by phone, some for a long as five or more years without meeting with them face to face. Most people do well with two or three sessions per month by phone. Some require face-to-face. I can be flexible depending on your situation.

We usually work on three areas: Goals, Tolerations and Structures for Success.

Once you clarify your goals, you can start making better decisions immediately because you know what you want, and also what you don’t want. It’s not unusual for your goals to change as you go from what you thought you should do into what you truly want to do (and stop shoulding all over yourself…). One of the most important people to lead is yourself in reaching your goals.

Tolerations are the things and people you put up with in your life, and things that waste your time and energy. We want to eliminate what you tolerate, and of course, some things are easy and others require some strategy and planning. For examples, it’s easy to eliminate the need for a phone by buying a new phone. It can be a lot harder when you are tolerating someone in your life who is very negative. Some people are problem magnets, others have developed into problem-free zones who handle situations and move on with life. Some get bogged down with all they have to do or fix, and you need to keep going.

Success Structure
Structures for success are necessary to reach your goals and avoid “brain ambush.” Whenever you need to make changes, your brain prefers to keep doing what it already knows. In stepping towards your goals, you will face fatigue, stress and novel situations you didn’t expect—things that can distract, delay and defeat you. You’ll need to develop new habits, build reserves of time and other resources and set bigger, better boundaries to maintain your focus and de-fragment your life. Creating new structures or re-setting old structures and boundaries can be extremely difficult.

The other thing is that a great coach brings out your best self. The job of the coach is to witness your greatness and call forth your best—your wisdom and experience—and put this into play for your life.

That’s what I do. Let me know how I can be of service to you.

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Wednesday, January 18, 2017

Does President Donald Trump Fit the Profile of the True Entrepreneur?

Have you ever thought that President Trump might have things in common with some of the great men in US History—like Andrew Carnegie, Alexander Hamilton, William Penn and even Christopher Columbus?
They all have a significant number of characteristics of the TRUE Entrepreneur. But first, I want to make a distinction between a business entrepreneur and what I call the True Entrepreneur.

The Business Entrepreneur does due diligence before jumping into a business. They do research, some feasibility study and a biz plan before they decide to jump.

A TRUE entrepreneur sees a problem or a detail that others tend to miss, and they can jump in and create a multi-million dollar business from it, or fail with great gusto. It’s been speculated that about 13% of the US population are True E’s.
There is a list of characteristics that include:
  • Filled with energy
  • Flooded with ideas
  • Driven, restless, and unable to keep still
  • Channels his energy into the achievement of wildly grand ambitions
  • Feels brilliant, special, chosen, perhaps even destined to change the world
  • Acts out sexually
And there are 10 others in the list (see video for complete list A significant number of these characteristics fit many great leaders in our history, you can decide how many of these characteristics fit President Trump.

As an Executive and Life Coach since 2001, I’ve coached a lot of entrepreneurs, and I can add a few things to this list.

The TRUE Entrepreneur
  • Always plays to win, and they hate to lose. It’s not unusual that hating to lose is often a bigger motivator than winning. 
NOTE that some would observe that in the recent decades, our country shifted from an attitude of playing to win to an attitude of “playing not to lose.” Think of this difference: If you’re playing to win, how will you play the game, if you’re playing not to lose, how will you play the game?
  • The true E can be unpredictable. They like to stir the pot to see what comes to the surface. They enjoy change, and if you talk to people who work for a true E, you often hear things like, “if he’d just stay out of the office/store/shop we could run it just fine—he screws up the system every time he comes in the door.” They live on the edge, and they love it because, WOW what a view!
  • You have to listen carefully because they talk in order to think. Don’t make the mistake of thinking they’ve reached a conclusion when they are really talking in order to process the situation. Don’t make the mistake of thinking a conclusion is final when new information, insights or ideas can turn things completely around.
  • They think BIG, they exaggerate, they speak as if their ideas are already a done deal, they juggle everything—it’s part of the spark that keeps them going.
  • The True E is messy. They thrive in chaos. They create chaos. They can be both the arsonist and the fireman. They bog down in details. They hate doing paperwork. Details are best left to those who are good at handling details.
  • Relationships suffer because it can be difficult to keep up with a True E.
  • They are not crazy, the True E just sees things differently. Where the average person sees a closed door and high risk, the true E sees opportunity and possibility, and they do not shy away from taking a calculated risk, or acting on a gut feeling.
  • They value speed and control over quality and accuracy, and tend to be good at damage control when they make mistakes. Mistakes tend to be the price they pay for their education.
The big thing to remember is that the True Entrepreneurs do not come with warning labels, operator’s manuals or antidotes. Don’t expect consistency, stability and a steady pace. Remember that stress, risk and overload bring out their best. And if you have a True Entrepreneur in your life…try to enjoy the adventure.

If you want to know more about the Psychological makeup of the entrepreneur, the book I quoted earlier with the 16 characteristics is titled: The Hypomanic Edge: The Link Between a Little Craziness and a Lot of Success in America by John D. Gartner, PhD

And if you are an Entrepreneur, or want to know more about working with an Entrepreneur—or if you’re already trying to work with one, you might need a coach, so get in touch with me:

This is Coach Mack Arrington, wanting for you to BE, DO and HAVE more of what you really want in your life.

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Monday, January 9, 2017

Relationship Bonus Tip #2 of 2: Only Two Ways People Learn to Treat You

At some point in your life, somebody has probably treated you badly, unfairly, cheated you, or taken advantage of you. Probably more than once. You might be tired of feeling like a doormat. Consider that there are only two ways people learn how to treat you:

1. What you teach them
2. What they get by with

If you don’t like the way somebody is treating you, the FIRST question you need to ask yourself is, “What have I taught them?”

It helps to know what to teach them. I do personality testing that lets you identify many preferences for how you want to be treated. Point: I work with many clients to identify what they want and how to ask for it. The amazing thing is that, simply by asking, they often get what they want.

This brings up the next question: What if you teach them how to treat you and they don’t? —Then I have to ask, is it because they cannot honor your request, or because they WILL not treat you like you ask.

Example of can not. I have a friend with intermediate stage dementia. Whenever we get with her for dinner, she always says, “You know what my friend Eddie used to say?”—and then I say, “I am sooo tired of hearing what Eddie used to say, please don’t repeat it again.” Then she repeats it, and laughs her cute cackling little laugh. Maybe I could take it better if I thought what Eddie said was really funny.

I know she can’t help it, so though I get irritated, I don’t get mad. I don’t leave. I don’t try to debate with her. I accept the fact that she can’t respect my preference even after I teach her what I prefer.

Example of valiant effort. I have a friendly business friend who was told not to call female prospects “sweetie” on a sales call. It took a while to retrain himself, and he learned to apologize every time he slipped.

Example of will not. An ex-friend kept inviting herself into my life. If she found out that I’m going out with friends, to the beach, even a committee meeting, she would invite herself and expect others to pay for her friendly participation. After repeatedly telling her not to do this, she became an ex-friend.

You have to decide what kind of friends and relationships you want. And you have to have the courage to set your boundaries, BIG boundaries, and maintain your boundaries. But courage and boundaries are topics for another time.

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